This thing … it looks like a big brown … well. The word I am thinking of here starts with a T and rhymes with “bird.” Whoever guesses that word first wins a brand new Toyota Venza! (I’m just kidding. It may look a little blah and stinky, but making fun of it does not pay me enough money to actually afford one.)

But anyway! The crossover sedan was revealed last year at the Detroit Auto Show. I thought maybe it would look better to me in a year, but it doesn’t.

I don’t care how refined the reviewers and automakers say it is; you can put a lot of frosting on a piece of poo and it still looks like a piece of poo.

Granted, choosing another color for photo ops would probably make this better, but marketing is everything, and if what you see is what you get here, I don’t want to get it at all.